Pico hide at Democratic headquarters, hear discussions today.. this what they say.. eeep eep..
The Mineshaft Tragedy of West Virginia:
How Can We Blame This on President Bush?
Moderator: Good evening and welcome to this weeks edition of Democrat Political Discussion. Tonights focus will be on the horrible mining accident in West Virginia which has claimed the lives of 12 people. What we will discuss is how we know it was somehow caused by the Bush Administration or what I refer to as, the ‘Black Plague Administration’.
Rather: I’ve always liked that one.
Alec: Yes, it’s appropriate. The Black Plague wiped out 75 million people during the Middle Ages. Bush is doing that during these ages.
Moderator: Well put, Alec. So we know the story. There were 13 miners trapped underground. We found out one of them had died, but then, family members were told that the remaining 12 were found alive. As it turns out, this was a tragic miscommunication and only one miner had survived. So I put it to our panelists. We all know Bush is behind this. So the question is How? How did Bush cause the mining accident? Let’s start off with rabid Bush Hater producer of the historic and falsified Bush National Guard records, Mary Mapes.
Mapes: This is an easy one. Bush caused this by his reckless energy policy. Our instatiable energy needs plus our overdependence on fossil fuels like coal forced these men down into the mining shafts. It was only a matter of time before this happened. In fact, I have this document which shows Bush was directly involved…
Moderator: Thank you, Mary. Please hold off on any documents for now, OK? How about Democrtaic Political Discussion regular Alec Baldwin. Alec, how did George W. Bush cause this tragedy to happen.
Alec: Well, I believe Bush was intimately involved with several parts of this tragedy. Firstly, Mary is right, his energy policy is forcing men to mine coal. But I also believe he made a phony phone call to the Mine Forman telling them all of the miners were safe.
Moderator: That seems especially cruel. Why would he do that?
Alec: Because West Virginia is a Blue State and he wants to embarrass the democratics in charge. Just like he did with the Democrat governor of New Orleans.
Moderator: You mean, Lousianna?
Alec: Yes. Bush caused the problem and then gets in the way to make the democrats look foolish and ineffective.
Moderator: Wait a minute, Alec. West Virginia is a Red state. They voted for Bush.
Alec: Shut up, you racist! So, are you working for the Bush Family now? How much are they paying you? I’ll bet they’re paying you in coal!
Moderator: Well get Back to Alec in a minute. Dan Rather, you’ve been an under-the-radar Bush critic for years now.
Rather: That’s not necessarily true. I mean, it’s not obviously truth, is it? I’m just a simple man from Texas who wants fiscal responsibility, clean water and strong military. I don’t hate George W. Bush anymore than I hate, say Hitler or King Kong.
Moderator: Fair enough. But how do you think Bush caused this mineshaft tragedy.
Rather: Firstly, let’s not call it a mineshaft tragedy, as it may offend gay men. Let’s call it Bush Coal Collapse 2006. Secondly, I think it’s fairly certain that Bush had Dick Chaney placed TNT at strategic places in the mine. Then, he himself pushed the Acme dynamite plunger, like a New Age Coyote bent on destroying more than just Road Runners.
Moderator: But why would Bush do this?
Rather: To divert attention from his legal woes and the faltering war in Iraq. Bill Clinton did something similar during MonicaGate.
Alec: STOP!
Barbra: Oh My God!
Mapes: No! No, My EARS!
Moderator: Stop! Mr. Rather, you have a distinguished career as a Bush Hater, that no one can deny. But you have violated one of the most sacred rules here on Democrat Political Discussion. You have said a non positive thing abouty Bill Clinton!
Barbra: And you mentioned him in the same sentence as Bush! Whattayou? The Anti Christ.
Moderator: Barbera, please refrain from an references to God.
Barbra: Oh, sorry. He just made me lose it there.
Moderator: How about you, Barbra. You’ve always been a vocal Bush Critic. How did Bush cause this tragedy to occur?
Barbra: Before I make a comment, I have to clean the air and purify the chakras which were polluted when Dan Rather made a questionable remark about Bill Clinton. Please excuse for for a second.
(BARBRA STANDS UP, CLASPS HER HANDS TOGETHER AND STARTS CHANTING)
Mmmmm. Bill Clinton….. Mmmmm… Clinton…. Mmmmm Bill Clinton….. Mmmm Clean Clinton… Mmmmm…..
(SHE SITS DOWN)
Barbra: Ok. Bush… (GETTING ANGRIER) Bush!!! Bush!!!
(STARTS HYPERVENTILATING)
Moderator: Calm down, Barbra. We don’t want you having another fit. Why not inhale from your puffer?
(INAHLES, TAKES A DEEP BREATH AND RELAXES SLOWLY)
Barbra: Ok. Bush did this because it was an evil thing and that’s all Bush can do. If Bush had his way, all of the miners would have been killed. And they would have been killed senselessly, fighting in this war for oil. You know, maybe they did die in Iraq and Bush created this whole media event to hide their bodies. Maybe he is looking for ways to hide the great number of people dying in Iraq.
Alec: That’s Brilliant! You mean, these 13 men were soldiers who died fighting the heroic Iraqi Freedom Fighters and then he had them flown to the mine and then Dick Chaney blew it up.
Rather: Yes! That would be a great way for him to make it look like no one is dying from this horrible war.
Barbra: I’ll bet right now, he’s taking dead soldiers, dressing them up as civilians and placing them into car accidents. That way, no one would know how many hundreds of thousands of soldiers are dying!
Moderator: Hold on a minute. Most of the dead miners were too old to be in the military.
Barbra: That’s what they want us to believe. Christ man, can’t you see it?
Alec: They have gotten to you too, haven’t they? You friggin Homophobe!
Moderator: Homophobe?! We’re not even talking about gay men here.
Mapes: And that’s they way you like it, too. Isn’t it, you Gay Hating, SUV driving, Ralph Nader supporter!
Pico hide well to listen but make eep eep sound, almost get caught, Pico had to run aways... eep eep
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