In a very tense press conference, Greta Thunberg had some strong words condemning her lover for failing to locate certain sexual locations.
“How dare you!” she said to her 17 year old boyfriend Klaus Geldman, “How dare you deny me the pleasure that is due a woman in this day and age. Look at the science, you fool. Read some books on sex!”
Reporters seemed stunned since the theme of the press conference was supposed to be regarding Global Climate Change. Instead, Greta used her time at the podium to excoriate her boyfriend of 3 months who was seated in the first row of the auditorium. Greta continued her diatribe at the members of the press and at adults in general. “Your generation has denied women for too long! Existing scientific inventions such as the dildo , the vibrator, the Sybian have been hidden from women in an effort to perpetuate the Patriarchy!” A female reporter noted that these devices are readily available to women and even offered to show her several web sites where these products could be purchased.
Greta appeared to soften her tone at the suggestion and then bemoaned the difficulties involved in “dating a Jew.”
