Lindsey Lohan for Hot Russian Chick
In a surprise move, the United States Government put Lindsey Lohan on a plane for Russia in an apparent spy swap for the recently deported Spy Anna Chapman. White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs briefed the press on the swap.
“It’s a win-win situation for all parties. Lindsey Lohan won’t have to go to jail, and we get that smoking little Russian chick back.” The swap was the brainchild of TMZ.com who noted that readers had become tired of the never ending Lindsey Lohan drama and were expressing outrage that our country let go ‘such a fine piece of Russian pulchritude’. Anna Chapman quickly agreed to the swap because she couldn’t go back to a life of” vodka, borscht and waiting in line for toilet paper”. Chapman also said, “Ezz like that Green Acres, Dahling I love you but geev me Park Avenue.”
Lindsey Lohan’s publicist indicated that her client was reluctant to leave America for Russia, but was dead set against serving any jail time. “We tried to convince her that it was for the best. She refused so we gave her a bunch of Vicodin and a bottle of Gin. That gave us plenty of time to bundle her up on the plane and jet her off.”
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