Lindsey Lohan for Hot Russian Chick
In a surprise move, the United States Government put Lindsey Lohan on a plane for Russia in an apparent spy swap for the recently deported Spy Anna Chapman. White House Spokesman Robert Gibbs briefed the press on the swap.
“It’s a win-win situation for all parties. Lindsey Lohan won’t have to go to jail, and we get that smoking little Russian chick back.” The swap was the brainchild of TMZ.com who noted that readers had become tired of the never ending Lindsey Lohan drama and were expressing outrage that our country let go ‘such a fine piece of Russian pulchritude’. Anna Chapman quickly agreed to the swap because she couldn’t go back to a life of” vodka, borscht and waiting in line for toilet paper”. Chapman also said, “Ezz like that Green Acres, Dahling I love you but geev me Park Avenue.”
Lindsey Lohan’s publicist indicated that her client was reluctant to leave America for Russia, but was dead set against serving any jail time. “We tried to convince her that it was for the best. She refused so we gave her a bunch of Vicodin and a bottle of Gin. That gave us plenty of time to bundle her up on the plane and jet her off.”
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Saturday, July 17, 2010
Gonna Sock it to the Democrats in November
Dear Democrats,
Boy are you guys gonna get it in November.
I won’t vote for any of you. Even if it’s the first time you are running for office, I won’t vote for you. I will vote Republican. Hell, I’d even vote Libertarian, Green, Independent or for a party of Mexican Midgets before I vote Democratic.
And it’s not that your party’s spending has put us further into debt. Or that you broke your promised of an age of transparency and bipartisanship. Or the lies about raising taxes, banning lobbyists or even the coterie of radical and communist advisers with whom Obama surrounded himself.
It’s because of Health care. It’s because your party chose to ignore the will of the people and pushed through a bill only your party wanted. You went against the whole idea of representative Democracy and tried to use your super majority to pass Health care. Then, when you lost your super majority, you resorted to trickery and highly questionable parliamentary procedures to force it through. You had several months to try to convince the public it was the right thing to do, and still no one is buying it.
Now, the public must banish you for the breach of trust. Do you know what you call a politician who thinks he knows what is best and ignores the will of the people he represents? Unemployed.
It’s sad really. Because of the likes of Pelosi, Reid, Obama, Dodd, Frank, Murtha, Specter and others, all Democrats must suffer. I wouldn’t vote Democrat even if JFK returned from the dead to run for congress in my district.
The truth is you guys are lucky. Many times in the past when politicians have ignored the will of the people it has led to rioting, insurrection and armed revolution. Your power grab could have ended on a much uglier note. Several months from now all of the Democrats running for public office will be relegated to Jimmy Carterland. The place for ineffective and dodgy politicians.
Good riddance.
Boy are you guys gonna get it in November.
I won’t vote for any of you. Even if it’s the first time you are running for office, I won’t vote for you. I will vote Republican. Hell, I’d even vote Libertarian, Green, Independent or for a party of Mexican Midgets before I vote Democratic.
And it’s not that your party’s spending has put us further into debt. Or that you broke your promised of an age of transparency and bipartisanship. Or the lies about raising taxes, banning lobbyists or even the coterie of radical and communist advisers with whom Obama surrounded himself.
It’s because of Health care. It’s because your party chose to ignore the will of the people and pushed through a bill only your party wanted. You went against the whole idea of representative Democracy and tried to use your super majority to pass Health care. Then, when you lost your super majority, you resorted to trickery and highly questionable parliamentary procedures to force it through. You had several months to try to convince the public it was the right thing to do, and still no one is buying it.
Now, the public must banish you for the breach of trust. Do you know what you call a politician who thinks he knows what is best and ignores the will of the people he represents? Unemployed.
It’s sad really. Because of the likes of Pelosi, Reid, Obama, Dodd, Frank, Murtha, Specter and others, all Democrats must suffer. I wouldn’t vote Democrat even if JFK returned from the dead to run for congress in my district.
The truth is you guys are lucky. Many times in the past when politicians have ignored the will of the people it has led to rioting, insurrection and armed revolution. Your power grab could have ended on a much uglier note. Several months from now all of the Democrats running for public office will be relegated to Jimmy Carterland. The place for ineffective and dodgy politicians.
Good riddance.
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